You’re gutsy, too!
Was in Toronto for a holiday recently, and I went into a large bookstore to buy a gift for someone. The bookstore was entirely unlike the one in my town: it was glitzy, and bright, and filled with busy, fashionable people. I saw my book in the self-help section, and scanned the distance you’d have to cover to get it to the cash. I thought about grabbing a book called Lonely, and walking across the store with it. And I thought, “That takes guts.”
Many people have written in to say that I’m brave, but I think the bravery runs both ways. To those of you who have stared down stigma and grabbed Lonely at a bookstore, I say, “Thank you.” Until I went to Toronto, I don’t think I realized what was involved. Picking up Lonely isn’t easy, and everyone who’s done so deserves a pat on the back.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 at 1:14 pm and is filed under the category Stigma of Loneliness.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
9 Responses to “You’re gutsy, too!”
ADD A COMMENT
Your name will be published with your comments. If you do not want your name used, simply type in Anonymous or the alias of your choosing. I'm fine with people using made up names. Feel free to be creative!
You have ignored the rather less gutsy downloading it to your iPad. Felt a bit like downloading porn (not something to admit to). Then again I hope people get a glimpse of it.
@ Rahul: I have no problem with people downloading the book. It seems like a sensible option.
emily – YOU’RE the gutsy one ……. unless you’re using a pseudonym, you will now and forever more be identified as being lonely whenever someone googles you.
If you go for a job interview anywhere, any smart employer would google the job applicant of choice …. and if they google your name – guess what they’ll find.
If anybody has a crush on you, they’ll google you and what will they see …. they might not know you well in person, but soon they’ll know a whole lot more about you.
And what will happen? People will judge you based on what they see on the screen ….. which we know is very limited.
So YOU are a very brave woman.
pst pst pst …. isn’t it now time that you told the world your name is really Kate Hudson?
@i : It is weird having my name pop up whenever someone googles the word “lonely.” And I do worry about the employer thing…but I try not to think about it too much!
I felt pretty courageous when I bought your book in a book store and I also asked for the Science of Loneliness which they didn’t have and they called another store about it, so I felt really brave exposing myself. But it was in a shop in town un the US while I was there on conference, and I will not go back there probably, as I live in Europe.
here is a link I found in the NYT today, that is connected to your own research on the effects of loneliness on health
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/28/a-new-risk-factor-your-social-life/
I have to hope that any reasonable employer, certainly one for whom you’d want to work, would see that your talent, honesty and good reputation are thoroughly positive qualities that will outshine any thoughts about notional weaknesses that being lonely might raise. Worse things happen at Facebook.
I’m reading a few books about social anxiety now, books that I carried to the desk at my local library and checked out myself. It wasn’t without some stress but it gave me a minor sense of achievement. Perhaps I’m even gutsier as I have to do it all again when I return them…
First of all, bravo for an excellent book.
It’s rather telling that your book was among my Amazon recommendations. I was going to check it out of my local library, but all copies were checked out. I really wanted to get started reading your book, so I called the local Barnes & Noble. The saleswoman answered the phone and I said, “I’m looking for a book and wondered if you had it.”
“What is the title?” she asked
“Lonely,” I replied
“Oh…I imagine a lot of titles will come up for that…” she began tapping into her computer.
“The author is Emily White,” I said, hoping to help narrow it down for her. The good news is she had the book, put it in the hold area, so only the cashier had to see the title. Not that I care: I’ve bought many books with “embarrassing” titles before.
Anyway, I thought the saleswoman’s response was rather funny/sad/telling. In fact, there really aren’t that many books about loneliness, and I think I’ve read them all now.
The great thing about these urban stores is that no one cares and no one judges – you have to be pretty diverse to be noticed in the city. Freedom lies in the masses.
I bought your book today and read it today. Thank you for writing it.