The ocean, the Gulf of Mexico, and loneliness
Headed out to the ocean this weekend to deal with my social loneliness. The Atlantic is about a ten minute drive away: I like to go to a big park with a 150 year old lighthouse and views clear to Ireland. The sun was bright, the waves were huge, and the day was fresh.
At first, I didn’t feel a sense of connection, but as I walked, and felt my step bounce against the heather, and thought of the whales that would soon be in the waters all around me, I began to feel more connected.
In Lonely, I talk about “biophilia,” which is the notion that human life is intricately related to the life all around us — the idea is that we don’t exist in silos, but are rather deeply connected to the world we live in. If biophilia is true (and I think it is), then we can’t hurt the world around us without being hurt ourselves. As species die out, or become dangerously rare, we’ll begin to feel the gaps in our own lives.
And staring out at the Atlantic this weekend, and loving the sense of being part of something, I had to think about the BP oil spill in the Gulf. It’s essentially the same body of water — though I’m a lot further north. I couldn’t help but think that the damage that’s being done to the Gulf — otters! sea turtles! nesting birds! — really affects us all. When I tried to express this idea to a newspaper editor, he said I had no proof, but I could feel the proof in my own body: there was an empty feeling inside me when I thought about all the species affected by the spill.
So the trip to the shore was a mixed blessing. The ocean was beautiful, but it inevitably got me thinking about the spill, and its effects. Ultimately, I’d like us to arrive at a point where it’s normal to talk about loneliness in terms of our relationship with the natural world. This shouldn’t be seen as some off-beat, wacky idea. It’s not. Deep down, I think we are connected to the world around us, and damage to that world will hurt us in ways we might not expect.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 11th, 2010 at 1:54 pm and is filed under the category Animal Assisted Therapy, Effects of Loneliness.
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5 Responses to “The ocean, the Gulf of Mexico, and loneliness”
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Emily ….. just some thought s…..
I know that in some situations being with “nature” and natural settings is very soothing. It’s also good if you need a good mental “cleansing”. I’ve been in situations like you and enjoyed natural surroundings, alone.
But I’m worried that if you went there to think about loneliness – if you stared out into the horizon with only some fish and whales in the distance …. well, I’m worried that it might actually have made you feel MORE lonely. You recognised you weren’t alone – with the vast expanse ahead of you that had whales and other form of life.
You said
“staring out at the Atlantic this weekend, and loving the sense of being part of something”
…. well, I think this means that you recognised you weren’t alone in this world … that you are part of something beautiful et al.
So you’re not alone in the world … but how does this fix your LONELINESS ??
Can you see what I mean? Hope you do …..
Another thought … you thought of the oil spill as damage that will hurt us/the world in the future. But by saying this you are talking about visible & well documented damage. What about all the damage that is being done to the environment, to people, to many things … but damage which we don’t get told about, or damage that people aren’t admitting to? this is similar to the fact that loneliness is something that isn’t being spoken of.
So just like there is untold pollution or damage to environment, or to african cultures etc, that we in the west know little about and so don’t talk about – there are many topics affecting people that as society we never talk about – and loneliness is one of them.
Hope this makes sense … just some thoughts.
What do people think? Emily? (This is an example of a time when it would be great n-o-t be alone … when reading about interesting subjects like this and having nobody to talk to about it!! )
io.
Watching the Gulf Oil Spill has made me depressed and sad because it is man made greed with no responsiblity to the oneness of the universe. I do feel interconected to the earth and the universe being in nature has always made me satisfyed and contented. The Gulf spill is the destruction of earth, jobs, livliehoods and maybe the death of USA. This disaster has made me sad and has added another level to my lonliness. I am terrifyed that they won’t be able to cap the well.
Hi Emily! I am here in Louisiana, right in New Orleans where the gulf spill is happening. It also makes me really sad. We still have no idea of all the animals dying and for how long this will effect all the animals. Of course, all of the families who live off the land, all the generations, the family history will be split. It reminds me of the sad story of the Native Americans having all their land taken from them; and then the wildlife was killed, etc. Very sad. I think you are hitting on a point. It is called Pantheism- it is a way of worshipping God. that is what you ar actually doing when you feel connected and your feelings are coming from being in nature. It is because you feel connected to the ‘soul’ of nature and then this then is your connection point to your creator, who is also the creator of all. You are having a religious experience. I have this also, and have had it since I was a child. It is not something you have to know intellectually in order for it to happen. It is the whole reason the Native Americans worshipped nature; I believe that a beautiful beach can be more ‘holy’ (wholey/connectedness) than a church with 3 story stained glass windows. Or how about seeing a rainbow that stretches from the North to the South? Nature certainly gives us a feeling of connection. I think that is why so many people love gardening. If you touch a plant or walk in a garden- you can feel the life force, “almost otherworldly”- emmanating from all the green. The sun was worshipped as God in Egypt. Now, we just go to the beach and lay out in the sun, and wonder why it makes us feel so good. Ever been camping in the woods and hear an owl? It is the most beautiful sound, coming through the woods- a little creature expressing itself- living its life… so beautiful. If you ever hold a flower in your hand you can sense this magic of life, this trusting. This is all having to do with the spirit. It is Pantheism. It is natural to humans to adore nature. God can be found in nature, through nature. Many people find it easy to feel God’s presence in nature. (That is why I would never want to live in a big city. There is no ”spirit” to 20 story buildings and honking horns.) Anyway, I LOVE your BOOK!!!
Interesting stuff here about nature and loneliness. I connect most strongly to the comment regarding how being alone at the ocean , for example, can make it worse. Why? Because I feel my loneliness is a condition of alientation and separateness from other life, including other life forms, so the feeling I get at the beach now, as opposed to when I was not lonely, is one of feeling more cut off, of wanting to share it with another person. My cats, on the other hand, it’s different—it is more “personal” with them, and that’s what I need—personal connection. Anyone understand this?
Well, I have the same thing with being at the beach and being alone- I think it is because it is a romantic place, and also because it has this ‘enormous’ feeling, like the enormity of nature; it makes me feel ‘small’ . Also it is so beautiful it is like looking at an artwork and not being able to talk about it to anyone. Another thing is, generally in the past when I’ve gone, it has been with family- so I have memories of ‘togetherness’ associated with it, and that makes the place more lonely if I am alone there.