Robert Putnam and creating community
I’ve recently become extremely interested in the work of Robert Putnam, who focuses on the idea of “social capital.” Social capital is a way of referring to our connections with family, neighbours, and colleagues. Putnam is convinced that social capital has declined in North America since about the mid 1970s, and I happen to agree with him.
The fun thing about Putnam’s work is that he’s created a “to do” list of things that might help strengthen community ties. Some of these suggestions (such as “organize a party for a new neighbour”) seem totally overwhelming, but I like some of his quieter suggestions — such as donating blood, or giving to the local food bank, or frequenting a small, local store. These are certainly not cures for loneliness — Putnam doesn’t intend them to be. But they’re interesting to think about: it’s fun to go through the list and think, “Yes, I could do that,” or “No way would I host a potluck.”
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on Thursday, May 20th, 2010 at 9:58 am and is filed under the category Dealing with Loneliness, Social Isolation.
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Yes I’ve read through the “to do” list and it certainly gave some terrific ideas. Of course not all of us would do everything on the list but certainly there are lots of things that I would feel comfortable and confident in doing.
I’ve also read a book called “The Art of Friendship” by Sally and Roger Horochow which goes through many ways of connecting with people which is also very helpful.
However the thing I struggle with is non inclusive communities and the reluctance of many people to include new people in their lives stating they are too busy when I initiate something. Australian society and probably US, UK and Canadian society don’t encourage friendship as a major value nor encourage people to always be open to admitting new people into their lives even if it’s including them in an activity with existing friends or family.
Thus it is how do we get the other person/people to have that willingness to admit a new person to their friendship circle as ultimately connection is a 2 way street.
Looking through this to-do list, I have done many of these things over the years, however I still ended up feeling lonelier than before. As many others have commented communication is two way. I never received any call backs or requests to join in their groups. It always ended with what I initiated. For example, I would volunteer at school, the other volunteers would then decide to go for coffee or plan vacations together, however never once was I invited.
Emily has expressed this as Marginalization, I think.
When you are an introvert, chatting up people and being in social situations is “work” as opposed to fun, and this takes a lot of effort and I feel drained and lonely.
I think his list is a great list and it’s inspirational. I am mostly introverted and need less conversation and quiet than most but I really do LOVE to be social, say “hello”, learn and listen to others, laugh, share, support, etc…just for less time than others.
I like his list, a lot. The thing that gets in the way for me is time/energy/money constraints…but mostly energy. But I am willing to commit to more to add to the joy/connection in my life…sometimes you just have to commit. Oh, I have dogs, too…and they take up a lot of time/energy and I hate to leave them a lone. Of course, I DO do animal stuff…need to make it more of a priority.