Major study on long-term loneliness
Thanks to readers of this blog for drawing my attention to a new major study of loneliness in the UK.
The study covers a lot of the ground that I cover in Lonely, but it has some really new and interesting stats. It found that 11% of the survey group struggled with feeling lonely quite often, and close to 50% saw loneliness as a growing problem in society.
For more than 10% of a sample group to admit to loneliness is a fairly major thing. The figure mirrors numbers I’ve seen for North America, suggesting that a 10% long term loneliness rate is pretty solid.
The report has received a lot of media attention in the UK, and I think this is a good thing. People have been writing to me to say that the report (and loneliness) are all over the airwaves in the UK, and I say, “Fantastic!” Not happy, obviously, that loneliness is a serious problem, but quite pleased to see that loneliness is getting the media attention it needs. More attention, and more voices, will slowly, slowly lead to less stigma.
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on Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 at 9:14 am and is filed under the category Long-term Loneliness, Social Isolation, Stigma of Loneliness.
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You are one of the lucky ones. I’ve been lonely since the day I was born. I’ve never felt connected. I’ve never had anyone I felt comfortable talking to and nobody ever noticed. I even got married because I thought I wouldn’t be lonely anymore. Turns out, it doesn’t work that way.
I have great friends and family, who I talk to about my loneliness, but they don’t seem to understand why I feel as I do since they believe they are there for me. I especially see that they feel this way because I am constantly volunteering, hanging out with friends, etc. Yet, I always feel completely overwhelmed with loneliness. When I go home, I go home alone. I know having “somebody” isn’t going to be the answer to my problems, but I think most people just don’t get it – particularly if they are in a good relationship. Ugh, I don’t know how to conquer this beast. Loneliness is a problem and a problem that people should start to recognize and I applaud your efforts, and I just pray people will finally realize that maybe it isn’t ALL about social interactions and maybe there is a psychological component to it that one cannot control??
One of the causes of feeling so intensely lonely all one’s life is, I think, a failure to really attach to the mother. If a mother is not ‘physical’enough with her baby, if she doesn’t cuddle it, play with it, make eye contact and have skin to skin touch, you might not be securely attached.
A very skilled psychotherapist, who is skilled in body-work, might help – but it takes years to get ‘secure attachment’. I believe it is possible.