“Anonymous” comments
Many thanks to the people who have written in response to some of my blog posts. I love reading what people have to say, and I’ve seen some really good ideas put forward.
One thing I have done, however, is pull people’s names off of the comments. This is because (a) loneliness is a stigmatized state, and (b) I’m not sure that people want their names published.
If you’re OK with having your name attached to your post, just indicate that in your message, and I’ll share your name or “handle” with the world!
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 4:14 pm and is filed under the category Stigma of Loneliness.
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6 Responses to ““Anonymous” comments”
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Hi,
Just wanted to say its the first time anyone has described how i’ve felt. I remember the day in Gr 5 when i realized i was alone like it was yesterday….
Fascinating. I came across the review in Maclean’s, and started searching for more information. In the little bits that I have read (I have only come to the blog now) it is simply unbelievable that someone could touch upon so many characteristics of my life. Successful, education, professionally driven, great parent… yet, inexplicably… lonely. Ms. White, thank you for your ambition and courage to write this work. Whether it will provide me with answers and direction that I am searching for, time will tell. But it is a good place to start.
Thank you!!
I can’t wait to go out and get your book. I can’t tell you how lonely I have felt since the birth of my 1st child 14 years ago. I now have 3 children and a husband who spends most of his time at work. My parents live about 1 hour away but really have no interest in being part of my life or my kids lives. They are old and they just feel that it’s too much work to come to my home and keep me company. I have friends but they have husbands and families who they spend weekends with. I am really alone when the weekends roll around and my husband is at work. I feel like I don’t want to let my kids down, but keeping 3 kids happy by yourself is no easy task!!! Looking forward to see what you have to say about this topic
Have not read your book but interested in what your book has to say, I am married, have 2 kids, work full time job, and go to church and have family in town but feel very lonely. Have people around most of the time but feel isolated, like I have lost the connection to people.
Wow, where to begin. I’d like to have my own personal dialogue with each and every one of you. It was such an epiphany to recognize loneliness as separate and different from depression. I thought I suffered from both my entire life, but in hindsight I can say it’s been mostly loneliness. I’m learning about parental attachment issues (the inconsistency or absence of reliable parental attachments) during childhood that can perhaps be traced as at least a contributing culprit.
And though I can clearly see my loneliness throughout the years, it has become severe, unbearable, and arguably with more merit lately. I, too, am going through a divorce. And simultaneously my mother (and last parent) was tragically killed last december. I haven’t worked in 4 years and the career I had is no longer available to me. I have two children and am terrified of passing this on to them. Honestly, I prefer depression to loneliness. There are pills, many of which I take, for that. There is no loneliness pill. While I don’t have “rich social ties” (such perfection of wording in the book), I have a small handful of friends. But it takes so much effort to have personality and be interesting that I find myself disinclined to put more effort into the friendships. My real fear is that they’ll come to think of me exactly the way I think of myself: useless, boring, uninteresting and unworthy. The isolation is taking over like a thick rolling fog and I fear that there is no end. I AM grateful to have this distinction between depression and loneliness, but as I said I prefer the former to the latter. One has the possibility of going away. The other is interminable. I’ve just started the book, so I’m not sure where it will take me. I know I needed a xanax just to get through some of the beginning pages as the similarities and clarifications left me in panic attacks. I would love to know about people’s “success” stories, of moving through and out of loneliness. I’m sure something similar exists on this blog somewhere but I haven’t really investigated it all yet. Thanks Emily for your candid storytelling of your life.