What about volunteering with the elderly as a means of curing loneliness?
Oh, my God. This is the single worst piece of advice I see floating around on the Internet. The basic idea is, “End your loneliness by helping someone more lonely than you! Visit a housebound senior!” There’s this slightly creepy implication that elderly people are just sitting in their homes, waiting for a lonely person to come save them.
Friendly visiting, as it’s often known, is a great idea, if you’re able to commit. Elderly people often rely on volunteer visitors as a way of combatting loneliness and social isolation. Well run programs do wonders for the elderly.
But isolated elderly people aren’t there for the convenience of the lonely. I try not to give advice on this site, but I feel compelled to give it now: ONLY volunteer with as a friendly visitor if you want to help an elderly person combat social isolation. Do NOT do it as a way of ending your loneliness. Friendly visiting isn’t about you (no matter how nice you are). It’s about people who are enormously vulnerable, and whose welfare has to come first.
Studies show that isolated elderly people actually do worse if a friendly visitor shows up for, say, three months, and then disappears. Friendly visiting is a much bigger commitment than the websites offering “advice” make it out to be. If you really care about social isolation and the elderly, and if there’s a seniors’ advocacy center in your city, then think about it. But be ready to commit.
This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 10:58 am and is filed under the category Volunteering.
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3 Responses to “What about volunteering with the elderly as a means of curing loneliness?”
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I completely agree with the need of commitment related to friendly visiting, Emily. One place I volunteer is with the VON. They have many tasks they need help with. Two that I turned down were friendly visiting and helping with their day program (a weekly group experience for isolated seniors). Both would require genuine and on-going social interaction with folks who need and deserve it. But I wasn’t sure I could promise that… actually I was pretty sure I couldn’t! So I have ended up contentedly doing paperwork and answering phones in two different situations for them… helpful to them yes, but not requiring the emotional and social commitment.
Dear Emily White, I can’t tell you how your advice for volunteering for the elderly touched me. From this little blurb, I can see that you are a truly caring person. Bless you.
I find it is impossible to volunteer. I registered with the volunteer service where I live 3 years ago. Applied for loads. Never get offered anything. Never get past interview or training stage. Not because I walk away but they dump me as not what they want. I have 20 years teaching experience, no criminal convictions full crb, a mum of two good girls and I am sane with no underlying health issues. To volunteer is not an option anymore. It’s clogged up with so many people unemployed just trying to get a reference for a job, or people trying to get a college place that gets them into a university.
In the northwest there no work anymore for a person who becomes unemployed. And a stay home mum has no way of getting out of the house now. You cannot get into the work place anymore up here. It’s dire. Yes would love to do literally anything to stop this loneliness but it isn’t possible now. Even my daughter cannot volunteer anywhere to just do her Duke of Edinburgh award. Too much networking. People in the loop get things. If you are out of the loop. Forget it.