Problems with volunteering as a means of ending loneliness
One of the things that people who say “volunteer!” don’t realize is that volunteering is not always so simple. A lot of non-profits are massively understaffed, and they don’t have time to respond to volunteer requests. Other organizations, such as animal shelters, might have long waiting periods before volutneer work can begin. Or you might go through an entire application process and then never hear back from the organization you hoped to join.
Not all volunteer efforts will turn out this way, of course. It’s possible to call up a food bank, offer to help, and be bagging groceries four days later. But we need to recognize, since people keep crying “volunteer!,” is that it’s often not as easy to do as it sounds.
The next time you’re lonely, and someone tells you to volunteer, ask them if they volunteer. Ask them how many places they applied before they found a good volunteer position; ask them how many forms they filled out, how many calls they didn’t have returned, how many times they were told that “an opening” would become available and it never did.
If a nonlonely person can answer these questions, and point you towards an organization that’s organized, taking volunteers, and has clear volunteer roles and expectations set out, then try it. But bear in mind that “volunteering” is often not as simple as the nonlonely make it out to be.
This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 11:01 am and is filed under the category Volunteering.
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2 Responses to “Problems with volunteering as a means of ending loneliness”
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This post is spot on. I’ve tried volunteering for lots of things over the years, related to issues and projects in which I’m genuinely interested. I’d have to say all of the organizations did such a terrible job of dealing with volunteers that it turned me off the whole idea. The unreturned calls, the disorganized application process, getting treated like a dogsbody when I have specific skills to offer, being ignored for months and then getting called at the last minute to help with some crap job like setting up 200 chairs at an event – who needs that? You’d have to be VERY committed to a cause to put up with that nonsense and have a very thick skin (or low self-esteem, not sure which) to be treated that way. Volunteering would be a TERRIBLE option for many lonely people. But the notion that it’s a great way to meet people simply will not die.
One of the ways volunteering can contribute to loneliness is seeing people in that contex who go to coffee or do other things in a personal, one-on-one way, but that never happens to you.