Loneliness as “induced” in social networks — just a starting point
See how I’m using the new terminology? It’s fun! The “induction” study shows that loneliness can spread through social networks, with your odds of becoming lonely increasing with exposure to lonely friends.
The idea is that lonely people on the edge of networks isolate themselves further, leaving people they used to be close to feeling alone and lonely themselves. These “second generation” lonely people can then begin to respond in a withdrawn and distrustful way, thereby spreading the loneliness out to yet another circle of people.
I think the reasoning behind this paper is probably right. I think that loneliness is social, and I know from my own experience that I’ve cut people off when lonely—possibly contributing to loneliness in those people.
But I also know that I’ve had friends who’ve stood by me through years of loneliness, and this finding doesn’t fit with the paper’s conclusion. I’ve had friends who’ve reached out to me instead of retreating, friends who haven’t been bothered by my loneliness one way or another. Heck, I’ve got one friend who’s used my loneliness as a way of getting back in touch (he found out I’d written LONELY), and this has strengthened my social network.
I think the reality of loneliness and social networks is much, much more complex than the paper suggests. I see this paper as a really good starting point. But that’s all it is. We need to know a lot more about how loneliness operates within social networks. My own experience with loneliness has shown me that not everyone will retreat. Different people will bring their own resources and backgrounds to the recognition of my loneliness, and my loneliness won’t affect certain people at all (in fact, in the case of the friend I just mentioned, it might bring them closer).
One thing that hasn’t been noted about this paper is that the average age of the study participants was 64 years old. I’m forty. My worst stretch of loneliness occurred in my thirties. It’s quite possible that people at different life stages respond differently to loneliness in their peers, with older people perhaps being more “vulnerable” to the state.
This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 10:51 am and is filed under the category Effects of Loneliness.
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Maybe the loneliness ‘attitude’ of hiding and not saying much acts as a sort of model for people we are socializing with, so that when they see us standing there all closed up and not talking, they then feel that tension and that vibe and that non-trust and then become quiet and uncomfortable, and then go home and become not as talkative, etc. Really would be a great study if they were able to prove it more. You know how in high school there is a ‘popular’ crowd that continually chatters in the hallways and then into the classrooms and then at lunch time? I have the feeling that people that are tending toward desiring to chat will then be ‘INDUCED” to become chatty, just from the chattiness going on around them, and the ‘modelling’ behavior. It is like we are teaching each other what to do- to be open and trusting, or to close down and hide. I do see it as a possible explanation.