Did loneliness spur my creativity?
It’s slightly awkward to be in the position of having written a long memoir about loneliness, because it feeds into the idea that loneliness is a creative force—that it’s something that spurs you to greater artistic heights and new endeavours.
I don’t think that’s true.
The best writing I did with LONELY came from times when I felt connected. I’ve just come out of another period of profound loneliness—the shrivelling, cold-making, insecure kind. And I didn’t write a word. I didn’t want to write. I had no spirit; no inspiration. It’s only now that the worst feelings of loneliness are behind me (for now!) that I feel able to put my fingers on the keyboard again.
I think that I was able to write LONELY in spite of my loneliness, not because of it. The last thing I want is for LONELY to be seen as proof that loneliness feeds creativity. LONELY is a strange accomplishment, something I had to write with my eyes half-way shut to just get through. If I’d really given into loneliness, I seriously doubt that the book would have been finished at all.
This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 10:40 am and is filed under the category Loneliness and Creativity.
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I have felt lonely for many years..although I have a child she is at school all day..my partner is at work all day..this leaves me feeling sorry for myself…I often reminisse about days gone by when I was popular and had lots of friends but somehow everything has changed..its almost like I went to sleep one day and woke up in another time/space continuem.. I find it extremely hard to make friends. I often ask myself the same questions, am I ugly, do I not wear the right clothing am I unapproachable to others. I have tried to make friends and talk to people but they just seem to want to leave my immediate location like I have some sort of disease or something. Yes alhtough I have family I keep asking myself why do I feel lonely,,do I have a mental problem, is it just me or are other people just not willing to communicate or be friendly. I really feel that I have lost something in my life but cannot put my finger on it! I have therefore taken up art as a way of combatting my loneliness also combatting my depression that accompnaies loneliness.. The other day I just cud not stop crying, as I feel that I am a complete failure..I called myself names and acted like a crazy person, but i guess that was my way of releasing all the pent up anger and/or sadness of not having friends and feeling like a social outcast.